


Milk

by hubridbunny



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Post-KH3D, Sora-centric, brief mentions of self-harm, brief mentions of vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hubridbunny/pseuds/hubridbunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drinking problem is not a problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milk

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been playing a lot of Kingdom Hearts lately. Cue delirious 1am stream-of-consciousness writing.

He can’t forget the sensation of being pulled down into the darkness. It pressed down on him from all sides and when he opened his mouth to gasp for air it rushed in to burn the back of his throat.

Some days the memory is so strong that he gags on it. He tries not to throw up, but there’s also a part of him that wants to if that’s what it takes to be rid of this pain.

And then one morning he discovers milk.

Kairi and Lea insist that everyone sits down together for a hot breakfast, and Sora can’t resist because the food looks and smells so good. He takes a few bites of everything, but he’s too nauseous to enjoy any of it. He reaches for his glass as he tries to choke down the darkness that he can feel swelling up from his stomach.

The milk goes down easy and the coolness of it relieves the burning. It leaves a sweet film all along the inside of his mouth and throat, and it’s so unlike the bitter taste of darkness and bile.

He drinks it like a dying man.

He has it with every meal, and starts carrying a small bottle of it with him to training. The first time someone—Kairi—mentions it, he laughs it off with the excuse of “Well, Riku’s gotten so tall—I’ve gotta catch up somehow!” But when he smiles it feels more forced than usual.

He knows his friends are just trying to help, but he doesn't need their help. There are much worse things he could be addicted to (the knife he hasn’t used in months but still keeps in his bedside table), and this actually makes him feel better.

But he tries to cut back anyway, so no one will worry. It’s not that he’s ashamed. He’s not. He just doesn’t want to worry everyone. He needs to be strong. The war’s not over yet.

It’s worse when he has to hide it because he can’t have a drink when he needs it. And if he leaves the choking darkness alone for too long, it starts to rise back up from deep inside of him again. It forms a lump in his throat and makes it hard to breathe.

It’s overwhelming—the fear that the darkness inside of him isn’t completely gone… and that it’s growing.

Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and stumbles through the halls of the Mysterious Tower to the kitchen. The nightlights seem dimmer than usual and he tries to ignore the way the darkness creeps so close to the edges of his vision.

Lea complains one morning that there isn’t enough milk left for his cereal, and Sora looks away when Riku’s eyes flick in his direction.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. He can’t talk about it. What is there to talk about? It’s not a problem.

… Maybe he _does_ have a problem. He hates feeling like this is isolating him from his friends. He should be able to talk to them about anything!

He can’t remember the last time he felt so alone. The feeling twists in his gut and it hurts like when he was trapped underneath the darkness. He doesn’t want to feel like that ever again.

He needs a drink.


End file.
